weekly think piece..

There's always a time when you feel as if you're shifting, I guess the season shift is what's brought my personal transition along this year. For months i've felt the silent exit of myself in friendships, familyships, and relationship, you think it's you--and thats the confirmation of it--it is you, yourself wanting a better outcome for life. As we grow older, we often think we despise not being as young as we were, like the fun will be gone, and the seriousness of life comes to show it's ugly head, we want to be forever young. I ask myself, "but what does forever young mean?". Forever being free? Free to party? Hang out all night? Free to blame bad decisions on alcohol and spontaneity? Free to pick the wrong men, waste time with the toxicity of the situation and chunk it up to "i'm still trying to find the one?". When do we look in the mirror, woman up, and throw away that "i'm just a girl" mindset?

Taking back control has been my theme as of late, doing the therapy with myself and realizing I indeed self-sabotage. Why? For me self sabatoge is a confort, there's no real consequences behind it because you don't have to hold yourself accountable. I'll workout tomorrow, I'll finish this next week, I'll do it when I have free time. I cant leave the relationship right now because i've put too much time in. Realizing the world waits for none, the world doesn't care, life goes on. After all, we all die after this. It's time to get up with the grown ups of the world and accept that it's a constant uphill battle no matter what level you are in life, and (sorry to break it to you) it's always gonna be a new tier to unlock, if you're doing it right.

Letting go of all the excuses, the fear, the overthinking, and do what is so blatantly logical, doing whats best for you, to shape you into your highest self.